Friday, October 9, 2009

My twin brother

Hi there, meet my twin brother. He’s depression. I have been living for nearly nineteen years and he has never once left me for more than one week. We stick together like a wad of chewing gum and the stickiness is getting more and more these days.

I don’t particularly like my twin brother. Well, hell, he likes me. I have never wanted to give him a call but he does so at every moment. I am so annoyed that I always throw my phone aside and go for a sleep.

Sleeping makes me feel better most of the time but it’s not relieving my problem, not recently anyhow.

Until recently, his calls have increased in frequency and he has come out with more strategies to trick me into hearing his voice. My phone call history not merely has his miscalls or calls recorded, but also has a full list of numbers contributed by his friends.

Thanks to his recommendations, I have more friends now, who could later turn into my blood-brothers, just like what depression had done to me many years ago.

Let’s see what friends I have just gotten connected to:

Abandoned, bereft of happiness, careless, dampened, enslaved and many more…
Out of all, gloominess and loneliness call me the most.

My world is half asleep though I am awake for my work everyday. I am colour-blind now for I can only distinguish the black and white. Anywhere I’m going, I have to spend some time in compelling myself to wear a mask to hide myself and also my insecurity about my appearance and everything...

What can I do? I pray and wait for HIS grace.

P/S: His friends have chased away mine. Every relationship results in nothing at the end.