My twin brother

Hi there, meet my twin brother. He’s depression. I have been living for nearly nineteen years and he has never once left me for more than one week. We stick together like a wad of chewing gum and the stickiness is getting more and more these days.

I don’t particularly like my twin brother. Well, hell, he likes me. I have never wanted to give him a call but he does so at every moment. I am so annoyed that I always throw my phone aside and go for a sleep.

Sleeping makes me feel better most of the time but it’s not relieving my problem, not recently anyhow.

Until recently, his calls have increased in frequency and he has come out with more strategies to trick me into hearing his voice. My phone call history not merely has his miscalls or calls recorded, but also has a full list of numbers contributed by his friends.

Thanks to his recommendations, I have more friends now, who could later turn into my blood-brothers, just like what depression had done to me many years ago.

Let’s see what friends I have just gotten connected to:

Abandoned, bereft of happiness, careless, dampened, enslaved and many more…
Out of all, gloominess and loneliness call me the most.

My world is half asleep though I am awake for my work everyday. I am colour-blind now for I can only distinguish the black and white. Anywhere I’m going, I have to spend some time in compelling myself to wear a mask to hide myself and also my insecurity about my appearance and everything...

What can I do? I pray and wait for HIS grace.

P/S: His friends have chased away mine. Every relationship results in nothing at the end.

So What?

I have had and will have many of my first times happening in Kuala Lumpur, in this city of temptation where I don't really belong to though I wish to. I hail from a shabby kampong where a life over there is simple and even people who are considered fashionable with their so-called punk-fashionably dressings are nothing but 38. How could they regard themselves to be the heights of fashion and sophiscation when they're wearing clothes which had been sold here for months already?

I'd just given my another first-time to Dream this evening - hanging out with her and friends for singing in a karaoke bar in conjunction with her birthday on 4th of Novemeber. An indeed memorable day for a kampong boy like me, with free food, drinks, long couchs comfortable for sleeping, microphones, speakers, song-selector and most importantly friends who're insanely keen on singing. Thanks to Dream and her mum for this golden chance and I guess I might not have another in the future.

Everyone's so cool, except me when coming to karaoke-singing. I guess I was just lack of courage and confidence when trying to deal with something which's totally new to me. Throughout this evening, I'd actually enjoyed myself very much though I didn't really display it. From my friends who couldn't really and didn't really want to stop singing, I've learnt a new definition for the term 'all-rounder'. All-rounders shouldn't only be good in everything that's recognized as 'good deeds' by the people but also need to show some knowledge in others which are the opposites. Ming was right, I was afraid and unsure of myself when coming to something that I'd never been experiencing before. I flinched at touches of anybody, flinching away from anything completely new to me and leading myself a solitary existence.

On the way back to Angkasa, I pondered over the trembling excitement that everybody had had just now and I found that I could really be like them, making myself more enjoyful by mimicing their reaction of singing, shouting and screaming in front of everyone with a microphone confidently held in hands. I am also aware that I've actually many songs to share. I like many songs by Backstreet Boys, Jay Chou and SHE and I know I can sing them providing the lyrics are given. Due to my timidity, I have been losing many opportunities which may not happen to me again in the rest of my life.

I recollected how I had been spending alone with the songs I like in the bathroom or somewhere else with nobody. I would always stop singing immediately after every bath or during when somebody has suddenly invaded into my safety zone. I am terribly afraid that my voices and my actions would make me blush and bring me howls of derision from the others.

This fear has been torturing me for years. I really envy those who can lead a life with no fear. I like to be somebody who can take challenges and adapt to the new changes. In fact, I should actually forget what I was, I need to change, never looking back at the bad things which had been happening all this while.

God, please help me to change~ I need faith and confidence.

Awaiting True Love 3

It's finally tomorrow when the 2nd season of Relax Camp is going to rock a total of 150 campers and 20 workers. Also, it's the day when I can look with pride at all my designs displayed on these 170 people from the T-shirts and name-cards they are gonna to put on apart from the slide-show which will play in between the activities.

Thanks to God for His grace that the preparation works have finally come to an end and we're praying that tomorrow will be a fine day for this whole half-day camp to be successfully held. We also hope that God can, through this camp, deliver what He wants us and all these youngsters with futures to understand.

Awaiting true love. A good title which would indeed please everyone. I guess it's from verses 4-8, Chapter 13 of first Corinthians.

4Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud. ⁵It is not rude, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs. ⁶Love does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth. ⁷It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres. ⁸Love never fails. But where there are prophecies, they will cease; where there are tongues, they will be stilled; where there is knowledge, it will pass away.

May God bless the speaker of the day, Rev. Wah, with wisdom and also all of us with an open heart so that we can always abide by God's words and live them out.

Let's see what I have had for the slide-shows. Colourful variations of the main theme design!

Support 30-hour Famine

"Most African farmers cultivate small plots of land that do not produce
enough to meet the needs of their families. The problem is compounded by the
farmers' lack of bargaining power and lack of access to land, finance and
technology." Because small-scale farmers and other rural Africans have so few
food stocks and little income, a period of drought can quickly trigger famine
conditions. This is especially true for rural women, who are among the poorest
of the poor and who account for the bulk of food production in Africa.

Can they choose whether they want to have McD or KFC for their breakfast like what most of us here always do?

Do you part, waste food not. Join us or make your donation for Famine 30 (2009)!

Awaiting True Love 2

I am really in no mood for updating my blog recently and I would like to make an apology to my blog - sorry for leaving you for so long, I promise to spend extra time on you at once I am set free from my UCAS, personal statement and damned lot of homework from my lecturers.

In spite of being so busy with my own work, there are some of the responsibilities that I really can't escape from. I am the designer for this year's camp by MIF again - Relax Camp 2: Awaiting True Love and this time I am obliged to design the name-cards for the workers as well as the participants. Hopefully, God can make my time run slower so that I can do HIS work and my own work well in the meantime.

Let's see what I had had for last year first:

This is one of the chosen designs of mine for the camp held last year on 6th of July 2008.

To me, I don't think my design for this year is a breakthrough or a surprise. Anyway, I still had a great satisfaction from having them as only 1 hour was spent on them.

Relax Camp 2 - a name-card for workers.

Relax Camp 2 - a name-card for partakers.

A self-fooling action - Abolishment of PPSMI

‘I’m now announcing that we’re going to abolish our dearly revolting PPSMI,”.

PPSMI stands for Pembelajaran dan Pengajaran Sains dan Matematik dalam Bahasa Inggeris, literally translates as Learning and Teaching Science and Mathematics in or using English. It’d been introduced since 2003 and was a proposal of our dearest ex-prime minister, i.e. Dr. M. Students who had done their UPSR in 2002 or started their primary education would have been the first to acquire their scientific and mathematical knowledge in secondary language.

English is indeed a secondary language in Malaysia and it’s really enjoying its privilege of the middle class. We don’t talk about other languages, which are either of upper class or lower class in the society as they are unrelated over this topic.

Reestablishment of PPSMM has, again, downgraded the status of this language.

It’s alleged that the implementation of PPSMI over this half decade had degraded its students, particularly in Science and Mathematics, which are currently learned and taught in English. And some politically correct social members are reckoning that this measure itself has been a failure of Malaysian schooling system since 2003 as it’s not hitting the spot, i.e. to polish up the ability of young citizens in mastery of this language.

It’s just a matter of time and I would regard them as teething troubles which would predictably happen in the early stage of this introduction.

I’m saying this in my experience. I’m the first secondary batch receiving this special treat. Candidly, I think the benefits brought by this scheme outweigh the disadvantages. At the very least, it has allowed its students to have more references from other resources. For instance, the textbooks used in other English-speaking countries can be treated as reference books for Malaysian students. Add to that the English scientific terms from those books would be easily comprehended without the need for translation; we can actually have all the latest facts and figures at our fingertips.

Not to trigger off a feeling of racial inequality, the legislation of learning those subjects in Bahasa Malaysia would be just an unreasonable and unjust option for non-bumiputras.

Let’s take a look on what happened before 2003. In our six-year primary schooling, we’re firming up our foundation in the basics of languages, sciences and arts using our own mother tongues. Apart from endeavoring to get a grasp on the arithmetic and sciences, we would have to master own tongue as well as other lingoes.

Soon after this, we learned everything in our national language, which’s still considered a somewhat unfamiliar language for non-bumi like us, even after six years of learning. It’s when we’re undergoing a significant shift in our means of acquisition of new and more advanced knowledge. It’s also when many among us had dropped out as they’re not linguistically strong enough to be selected for.

As for those who’d luckily been selected for, the selection did come at a price – we did sacrifice our time, money and strength to make firm our grip of this language so that we could excel in other subjects through this language.

Nevertheless, the percentage of sacrifice makers is less than thirty percents. Most among us were using the national language throughout their 11 years of compulsory education. It’s therefore explicable that even more had dropped out after the establishment of PPSMI.

Meanwhile, this scheme had caused not much affliction on the thirty percents as they still have to accommodate to the transformation and this transformation does not differ much from the one happened formerly.

From a student’s standpoint, I would prefer to suffer now than to suffer in the future for a longer time, perhaps the whole life ahead of me.

I don’t fancy our Ministry of Education to exterminate the scheme as well as to carry on with the scheme for primary education.

It’s after all making the young pupils more stressful as they need to master all three languages fully together before they can do well in others. I suppose letting the native language to predominate among the small children would be a better way of building the all-important foundation.

We should keep on with the scheme for secondary education as the children should have learned how to adapt as they are moving from childhood to adolescent stage of growth. Otherwise, they won’t be competitive enough to take on the oncoming challenges.

The decision of the ministry on increasing the number of English teachers as well as the length of time or period for English classes in primary, secondary and tertiary educational institutions is indeed commendable. This is rather a practical action of achieving greater English level among Malaysian students.

We should always take peeks and emulate the successes of other countries in their education system. Positive attitudes towards our education are also of crucial importance. Stop behaving as if you deserve better. You should muse on what adaptations you should have to every single problem that hits you.

There are still 2.5 years for the ministry to change their mind.
Don’t be an escapist or the fox that described the grapes as sour just because it couldn’t reach them.

Awaiting True Love

Spent several hours, a T-shirt specially designed for the upcoming event in August, namely Relax Camp Season 2 by Methodist Intermediate Fellowship of Pantai Remis Chinese Methodist Church (link) has eventually made its way out. (Hooray! Let's give it a rapturous welcome!)

I still can't seem to get my failure, which happened last year, in relation to this, out of my mind. My paper design for last year's event was perfect but the output'd the oppsite effect. I felt indeed wretched about the way things had turned out. Perhaps constraint on spending money and time for the release of the design were the direct factors of this mishap.

In this year, I'm reassured that any restriction regarding this has been driven off, so I won't have to be frustrated again.

Let's see what I had had last year:

This is the front view of one of my T-shirt designs last year for the event, which had taken place several days before I departed for Cheras on the last day of June. The output was utterly different from what's in the plan. I felt awkward when was bombarded unceasingly with questions for this hideous T-shirt.

For the reason above, most of the community members (specially set up for this event for this 2nd season) had requested a T-shirt designing contest as to have more choices for the better T-shirt. Though it's brought out with a somewhat sarcastic twist, it's still acceptably fair for everyone, and a lot more significant for discovering the hidden talents of the other members.

Anyhow, I thank god for this year's design. It wouldn't have happened so smoothly if no blessing's given to me. Tada!

This is another major breakthrough of mine. The front and the back parts of the T-shirt are put together to give a rough idea about how it will appear when it's put on. There're in fact two curvy motifs joining together to give a heart shape, in conformity with this year's theme:

Awaiting True Love 真爱要等待

Front view of the design. I fancy the front view, particularly the curvy motif.
It's streaked yellow-white gradient to make it sparkle in the black.

Back view of the design, the date of the event's well-written there.
I just pray that I won't have to change anything hereafter

Depressed 우울

I have a bout of depression these days. There’re too much many things for me to be worried about though most of them are trifles.

I admit myself as a somewhat eccentric person. I’ve never been able to have myself controlled well emotionally and psychologically. I have too many worries and fears. I shouldn’t have those, I know.

I’m acting as if I’m a -philiac. I am easily addicted to anything I like. A BLEACH junkie, I can’t find a way to get rid of this role I’m playing.

I realize that am getting further away from God. It is coming with a manifest sign – I’ve no peace.

I’m behaving as if I’m a chronic AIDS patient. I’ve lost my immunity to fight against the loss of confidence and joyfulness.

I’m getting gradually indolent about everything. I’d lost touch to Korean, too much of my regret.
That’s no way for me now to iron my laziness out.

I’m a problem child, a problem friend, a problem family member, a problem partner.
I’ve an unfortunate habit of causing problems to others.

I’m in abject misery and have started to let things slide.
I should take Dogmatil, perhaps.

Am I taking everything too seriously? Should I?

A breakthrough 2 (돌파구 2)

Here are some designs I've just finished minutes ago for the coming event, held by UCSI Hope Revive Club. It had indeed taken my whole day long.



I hope that Kayrin won't ask for something that I can't reach. :@
Sweet dream :)

Let's get pooty about poops

Let's see what I'd got unintentionally from Doodie.com
A staggeringly creative idea to express your fancy to what's from your bowel :)

It's obeying Newton's third law, don't you think? Every action is accompanied by a reaction in opposite direction. I suppose the toilet-roll is redundant over there. :D

Cupid has no idea how revolting its poops are - with wings.

Get more absurd-looking gifs about poo from Doodie.com
Enjoy laughing. Life's good.

A Story for You to Live by

I don't particularly like to read the forwarded messages from my friends. Due to inconvenience in accessing Internet when I was in Cheras, I did't really check my Yahoo or Hotmail as often as normal ones will do. Usually after weeks, my mailboxes would be stuffed with these junks: You've 151 unreaded messages in your inbox (I am sorry to regard them this way as it's totally a no-no for me to read them all together at one time).

Anyway, I'm on holiday now until 13th of July and so I am free enough to check mails everyday and even twice or thrice per day. So those forwarded ones being received within this period of time will be entertained with great appreciation. (Sorry for those who're kind to deliver their cool messages to me when I's in Cheras, it's definitely bad to delete others' messages without skimming through, thanks a bunch :D)

An indeed well-written story for you to live by below. Read carefully and reflect on it

There was a blind girl who hated herself because she was blind. She hated everyone, except her loving boyfriend. He was always there for her. She told her boyfriend, 'If I could only see the world, I will marry you.'

有一位瞎女很討厭自己因為眼睛瞎了。她也討厭每個人，唯一不討厭的是她的男朋友，因為他都常守在她身旁。於是她對她的男朋友說：「如果能讓我看到這個世界，我愿意嫁給你！」

One day, someone donated a pair of eyes to her. When the bandages came off, she was able to see everything, including her boyfriend.

有一天，有人捐了一對眼精給她。當紗布解開時，她能夠看到一切，包括她的男朋友。

He asked her, 'Now that you can see the world, will you marry me?' The girl looked at her boyfriend and saw that he was blind. The sight of his closed eyelids shocked her. She hadn't expected that. The thought of looking at them the rest of her life led her to refuse to marry him.

男朋友問她：「現在你可以看到這世界，你愿意嫁給我嗎？」那女孩看了男朋友是個瞎子，他那對蓋上眼皮的眼睛嚇到了她，這是她無法想像。她想：要我嫁給他而一生對着他這個樣子，我無法接受。

Her boyfriend left in tears and days later wrote a note to her saying: 'Take good care of your eyes, my dear, for before they were yours, they were mine.'

於是，她的男朋友很傷心的離開她，幾天後寫了字條給她：「親愛的，請你好好照顧你的眼睛，因為它不是屬於你的之前，它是屬於我的。」

This is how the human brain often works when our status changes.
Only a very few remember what life was like before, and who was always by their side in the most painful situations.

這也是人的腦會如何做當情況有所變動。只有少許人會記得他或她之前的生活及誰會在身旁當他或她處在困境的時候

Life Is a Gift

生命是一份禮物

Today
before you say an unkind word - Think of someone who can't speak.
今天，當你要講一句不善之言－－請想想那些無法講話的人

Before
you complain about the taste of your food - Think of someone who has nothing to eat.....
當你要埋怨食物的味道時－－請想想那些沒有食物吃的人

Before
you complain about your husband or wife - Think of someone who's crying out to GOD for a companion.
當你要埋怨你的先生或太太時－－請想想那些在向上天哭訴要一個伴侶的人

Today
before you complain about life - Think of someone who died too early on this earth.
今天，當你要埋怨生活時－－請想想那些太早離開人世間的人

Before
you complain about your children - Think of someone who desires children but they're barren.......
當你要埋怨小孩時－－請想想那些渴望小孩而無能生育的人

Before
you argue about your dirty house someone didn't clean or sweep - Think of the people who are living in the streets.
當你要爭論沒有人清理屋子時－－請想想那些住在街邊的人

Before
whining about the distance you drive Think of someone who walks the same distance with their feet.
當你在哀訴駕駛的路程－－請想想那些同樣的路程以代步的人

And when you are tired and complain about your job - Think of the unemployed, the disabled, and those who wish they had your job.
當你很疲備而埋怨工作時－－請想想那些無工作，殘疾的，及那些多麼希望擁有你這份工作的人

But
before you think of pointing the finger or condemning another - Remember that not one of us is without sin.
當你想要指著人或互相譴責時－－請記得沒有一個人是無罪

And when depressing thoughts seem to get you down - Put a smile on your face and think: you're alive and still around.....
當壓抑的念頭讓你無法振作時－－請你笑一笑想想：你還活著存在世間！

I will remember them always. Think before you act.

我爱“死神” 2

在《死神》里我最喜爱并且想模仿的角色就是日番谷冬狮郎(Hitsugaya Toushirou)（ひつがや とうしろう）。从百度查了些他的资料与共同喜爱者分享：


基本常识
身高 ：133cm
体重 ：28kg （身高、体重相当于9岁男孩的平均水平）
生日：12月20日
特征：天才
昵称：小白（五番队副队长雏森桃是这么叫他的）小狮郎
昵称由来：1）头发为白色。2）与其名同音shiro是日文中“白”的意思。
羽里色：千岁绿（常绿植物的叶子的颜色）
特长：滚铁环
喜欢的食物：甜纳豆（因为在流魂街时奶奶经常吃）萝卜烧煎鸡蛋(这是什么爱好)
讨厌的食物：干柿子
最爱说的是：叫我日番谷队长！
动作习惯是：皱眉头
兴趣：午睡
假日的度过方式：去祖母家拜访、去见兕丹坊
幼时住所：西流魂街一地区润林安。

经典语句

• 降り频る太阳の鬣が 薄氷に残る足迹を消してゆく 不断从天而降的太阳鬃毛，让薄冰所留下的足迹都逐渐消失。
• 欺かれるを恐れるな 世界は既に欺きの上にある 不要害怕遭到欺骗，因为这世界就建筑在欺骗之上。
• 如果让雏森流血的话，我就杀了你
• 破碎吧!冰晶
• 端坐于霜天，冰轮丸！
• 抱歉啊，没办法让你替你的属下报仇了

更多介绍
人气超高、非常帅气的小酷哥，历史上最年轻成为队长的银发天才少年，身材矮小。日番谷冬狮郎出身西流魂街一区「润林安」。一百三十岁当上队长。但他是怎样成为十番队队长，目前仍是一个迷。他的工作能力非常强，工作也十分迅速，在五番队队长蓝染诈死后接管了五队的工作，轻松身兼2个番队职务。与西门的守卫兕丹坊关系密切，并教他「都会准则」。很早就觉察护廷十三队内部异常的迹象，似乎知道一些市丸与蓝染等等之间的种种纠葛，然后独自展开调查。常常把事务交给副队长松本乱菊处理。平日喜欢别人叫他队长，讨厌别人直呼其名。目前在最新漫画中与十刃中的第三十刃赫利贝尔交锋处于下风。但其后以冰克水的道理一度压抑着赫利贝尔，并且使用出一直以来从未展示过的招数——冰天百华葬。

斩魄刀
「氷轮丸」（「冰轮丸」）（ひょうりんまる）hyourinmaru
属性：冰雪系·最强刀
解放语：「霜天に坐せ『氷轮丸』」——"Souten ni zase hyourinmaru!"（そうてんにざせ、ひょうりんまる）『端坐于霜天之上吧！冰轮丸！』
[卍解] 大红莲冰轮丸
放出慑人寒气，结出巨大的冰晶和红莲龙。

1. 「天相従临时」冰轮丸的基本能力之一，同时也是最为强大的能力，号称天空的一切，都受到支配；冬狮郎的这个能力还处于未成熟状态，没有自信控制得很好「竜霰架（りゅうせんか）」： 详细能力不明（外观推察，用冰块包裹，打碎对方的技能，日文资料写的是：刀で贯いた相手を十字架型の氷块に闭じこめ、砕く。）。与朽木白哉的『终 景･白帝剑』相似
2. 「千年氷牢（せんねんひょうろう）」：利用大气中的水，在周围形成无数的强大冰柱，将对方封冻。（氷柱を大量に発生させて敌を囲み、敌を闭じ込める巨大な氷块を生成する。）
3. 「氷天百华葬」：在水汽弥漫的时候，将翅膀上的冰融化然后操纵天空，令雪花从天空降下，当敌人触到冰花的那一刻，随即冰花开满全身，将之冰冻。当身上开出100朵冰花，敌人的生命也就到了尽头。
4. 「群鸟氷柱」：发出连环冰弹，如同成群结队的鸟一般攻击敌人
   

注明：由于小白是最年轻的队长，卍解还不完全，所以小白卍解后，身后的十二片红莲花瓣代表了其卍解的时间限制。解放时生成一只冰龙，其巨大翅膀从持刀手腕延伸出去、还有形如三片巨大花瓣的冰结晶，如果结晶都消失了，那卍解会解除。

冰轮丸是冰属性最强刀，利用溢出的灵压创造出来的冰之龙，利用巨大的水量将对手冻结。而且始解后剑柄后多出一条链子。结合那条冰龙来看，像是龙的尾巴。

My Journey as a Pharmacist (약사로서 나의 여정) 3

I’ve only a few words as a comment for my 4th day here on attachment, i.e. I’m bored to death.

Mr. Ong’s somewhat free from my observations. Apart from sitting for newspaper and surfing Internet for some own business unrelated to his job, he’s prompt in taking his meals. (I really hope he won’t have read this post by chance in the future or else the consequence will be too ghastly to think about.)

Anyhow, he deserves a simple life like this. Most of my friends and relatives had always questioned me about my decision to be a pharmacist. My refusal to select medicine or dentistry seemed to have puzzled them quite a lot.

I visited ReCom and became a member of this Internet community last year in April. It’s a cool forum-styled website with plenty of useful educational information. It’s really expanded and widened my pupils so as to let all the new images that I’d never seen to enter my eyes and then my brain. Besides giving me some precious knowledge, it also affected my mindset in a positive way after thousands of posts by the veteran ReCommers had been skimmed through.

I guess it also had inflicted some ‘damage’ to my confidence hereafter of choosing to be a doctor or dentist. Accordingly, I chose pharmacy.

The idea of choosing pharmacy came into my mind only when I couldn’t find a way to be a doctor or a dentist. This‘s a shame. I’ve been underestimating the roles of a pharmacist.
I’d done a mistake, much to my regret.

Have I ever asked myself that I’m suitably qualified for a pharmacist?
Before making this decision, there’re actually quite a number of issues to be dealt with:

Am I careful about detail and thorough in completing work tasks?
Am I reliable, responsible, and dependable, and able to fulfill obligations?
Am I honest and ethical?
Am I able to accept criticism and deal calmly and effectively with high stress situations?
Am I sensitive enough to others' needs and feelings and being understanding and helpful?
Am I able to be pleasant with others on the job and be able to display a good-natured, cooperative attitude?
Am I analytical enough?
Am I independent?
Am I able to maintain composure, keep emotions in check, control anger, and avoid aggressive behavior, even in very difficult situations?
Am I being open to change (positive or negative) and to considerable variety in the workplace?
Am I willing to take on responsibilities and challenges?
Am I able to work with others rather than alone, and being personally connected with others on the job?

No. I’m not.

Despite a retail pharmacy to which I’m attached, it had really taught me an invaluable lesson that I shouldn’t judge the nobility of an occupation with its title. Every job’s noble as long as it’s a contributor to harmony and peace.

I can see there’s still a long, tough and hard way for me to go through. Be brave. God, please help me.

Reducing Weight 무게 감소

Reducing weight is pretty easy if you're to decrease your weight from 635 kg (the mass of Dr. Robert Schwartz, the heaviest man in the record) to 419 kg. And, the time required to lose such a big bulk is often short.

What do you think about losing weight from 70 kg to 60 kg? Can you do it with ease to an extent that you can lose 2 kg per day? It's definitely a no-no. To get lighter on the weighing balance is infinitely harder.

Improving a language that you've learned is like reducing weight from 70 kg to 60 kg. Starting to lose terribly great mass is a simile of getting started with a new language.

I am arching for better English but I've no idea how to make it fast. Perhaps I am too worrying about my Physics, Chemistry and Biology. In spite of being in contact with this language all the time, no obvious improvement has been recorded.

I start to have a feeling of anxiety over my ability in this language these days. I guess I should begin to work on it before it's too late. I hope blogging is one of them.

A breakthrough 돌파구

A draft-design for the upcoming event, held by Hope Revive Club.

Being a graphic designer is another castle I am building in the air

Life 삶 (1)

Life can be sometimes enmeshed in a web of deceit and lies. And it's like an insect being trapped in a calculated web of a spider. In this case, there's certainly no escapeway, except that you're a escapist. Deception is one of ways, an effective one to realize something desired. Chasing after a thing that you wish to own is absolutely not similar to commiting a discourtesy. However, if you're doing something for the sake of your own good but others' trouble, it's not right anymore.

Life in the city is a delight to me as well as a dismay to me.

The goods are undoubtedly meeting new people and learning new stuffs daily as well as knowing how to live independently. They are really essential and are as pieces of empirical evidence that I'm actually going through the next stage of my mental, emotional and psychological development, a life process of every living creature.

There's only one bad: some creatures are creating menace to world peace. They are not as dangerous as weaponed terrorists as in 911 attacks. Yet, they are causing the outbreaks of inharmony. Some of them are advocating world peace by joining 'Causes' in their Facebooks but they're never aware that the actions they are taking are somewhat ignoble.

There's nothing to exemplify. Natural selection does really exist. Competition does take place everywhere but needs to happen in a positive manner. Lending your helping hand is an obligation as well as a piece of evidence for civilization.

Mans who're lacking in gratitude are truly nothing but a pile of dog shit.
Someone wicked even had plotted to destroy those who didn't do they a favour.
Those who never frankly admit that they've problems with their personality but always point at others when something goes wrong are absolutely a load of imbecilices.

On what foundation do your bold, mad, pitiable, and execrable arrogance rest?
Staying away from this bunch would be a better way...

My Journey as a Pharmacist (약사로서 나의 여정) 2

It’s at seven-thirty sharp in the morning when I awoke. I presumed that I wasn’t as nervous as what I had felt for yesterday. Thank God for that.

(Andy can’t sleep usually when he’s encountered something that’s completely new for him, the first GCE examination couple of months ago, for instance, had caused him a terrible nervous strain: his hands were trembling with fear when doing his first GCE Biology test paper was a piece of evidence.)

I have to be on duty at 9 and off duty at 3 every weekday to learn about how’s a life a pharmacist should lead. In the meantime, doing some independent research’s also important for the sake of my own achievement in the long term in addition to giving some points to be included into my personal statement.

I guess I would never know that’s quite a range of careers in pharmacy if I didn’t get into Wiki this morning. What is a pharmacist? (Definitely known) How about a pharmacy assistant or a pharmacy technician? Oh no, I supposed there’s still many things for me to learn.

Pharmacy technicians are pharmacy staff members who work under the direct supervision of a licensed pharmacist, and perform many pharmacy-related functions: giving medication and other health care products to patients, for instance. Pharmacy technicians also prepare or compound prescribed medication in addition to providing drugs to patients with all the medications checked by a licensed pharmacist. What’s a pharmacist’s role again?

There would probably be a shift of responsibility of a pharmacist to consulting and advising patients if the role of the technician is to increase in the next few years.

Communicative skills are very important, regardless of how well you can speak one or more languages. Pharmacy’s a medical profession demanding effective communicative skills, e.g. how communicable your information or knowledge on a specific drug is. So, the fact that the English requirement for a student to meet in order to get into King’s for pharmacy is higher than that for the other two didn’t really astonish me much.

I should say manual skill and dexterity are required also in pharmacy besides being needed for someone who aches so much to become a doctor or a dentist. A pharmacist needs to handle the drugs during drug-dispensing as well as how a doctor handles his patient during an operation.
Even counting circular tablets with a tablet-counting dispensing triangle (too long a name, I spent hours to find this real name) and using a spatula need both your hands to be skillful.

I was truly in delight when the friendly pharmacy technicians (a job title for those helping a pharmacist) invited me to learn preparing, classifying, dispensing and repackaging medicine with them. Till this moment, I had already mastered the technique of counting tablets by using two equipments. I really envy my partners that they could really dispense tablets with practiced ease. I guess ‘Practice makes perfect’ is rather suitable in this context.

What’s a blister pack? This question needs to come into my mind before I could understand what is meant by ‘deblistering’. A blister pack or package is an innovative containment system made up of three layers [http://www.cncmagazine.com/vol6thru8/v7i25/v7i25g-MrDeb.htm]: a layer of paper that is printed with an information or warning label, a layer of foil that seals in the medication and a layer of plastic bubbles (called blisters) that hold the pills or capsules. Deblistering is therefore referred to a system of product recovery that involves punching holes in the blister packages to retrieve the tablets for repackaging purpose.

Gaining working experience in a pharmacy solely is not enough for me, I reckon that expending more effort and time on research in regard to this is another principal thing I need to do in this break.

我爱“死神”

近来几年的日本漫画和动漫都相当的令人失望。不是剧情不断的重覆就是漫画的故事情节过于不切实际；或是漫画中的人物都画得像鬼一般。也许漫画愛好者对于我无力的高要求都应该叫我闭口吧！

《死神》？好看的吗？不要像《名侦探柯南》这样没完没了，或像《小叮当机器猫》如此换了多次的作者还一成不变？

前阵子在网上看到《金田一系列》，看了一个十载的漫画还让我回味无穷，在我脑海中的故事情节还比我在五年前那最后一次翻看的《游戏王》里所获得的记忆更来得深厚，真是令漫画愛好者唉叹呀！

造成多年没再动过漫画书的原因只有几个 - 省钱、省时间和放不下。帮不下承重的功课和责任来放纵自己。不知是家母的教导让我无法原谅自己的尽情陶醉在漫画堆中还是我自己的借口让我放弃了全家的愛好？

《死神》一级棒！无意中看到、闻到和感觉到这套动漫的创意和刺激，再次激起我那从小就养成的漫画书不离手习惯。

不过这次吸引我的并不是漫画本身，是听得到、看得到和可以陪着一起沉醉在其中的动漫。看到如此美妙刀剑的挥舞及人物表情的动人表达，我不禁再次爱上日本漫画！真希望我也是里面的一员啊（最好是日番谷) ^^！

My Journey as a Pharmacist (약사로서 나의 여정) 1

One of the most meaningful Mondays in my life – this was the first day I started my journey as a ‘pharmacist-to-be’ as well as the date when I was awake to the reality of the situation that I should start getting serious about the career I’d opted for one year ago.

I only began to get worried about the fact that I’m going to work on an attachment yesterday. It’s shown that I was actually not more than ‘decadent’ or ‘self-indulgent’ would be a more appropriate term to describe the life before.

I reached the ‘assigned’ pharmacy promptly at 9.00 a.m. It’s not considered a true community pharmacy if you’re to follow the true definition, that the pharmacist doesn’t really prepare drugs inside (I don’t regard repackaging what’s ready is a part of drug preparation).

The drugstore wasn’t open punctually at the expected time but slightly later. It’s perfectly alright in my mind for I shouldn’t have complained so much or else I could have put myself at a risk of being thrown out.

I was invited into Mr. Ong’s after a polite greeting. I was glad he’s responding to me at that moment. Mr. Ong’s well-known for his having a calm and introverted disposition. I had to express my appreciation with a few bows.

Definitely nobody was in, except him. I was glad that I was the earliest among his employees despite the fact that I was paid experience rather than ringgits.

To my surprise, he’s the first to ask about some of my particulars before I racked my brain for questions to be asked to resolve the tense atmosphere – that’s what I think.

My questions popped out after the end of my answering sentences so as to relax myself a bit more. They were actually praises presented as a matter of fact for I’m always curious that how a pharmacist can have all his drugs’ names and uses as well as their locations clearly inscribed in his minds. I really have doubts sometimes as to whether will my memory be enough for all of these as I know upgrading wouldn’t be possible for me at this age.

Observing patiently is as important as being able to endure hours of standing at a fixed position, either for who’s keen or forced for gaining knowledge. I think I am in the 2nd group. Monday’s indeed a hectic day for everyone in the store as the day before was when the shop’s closed.

There’re lots of interesting visitors today and I was very fortunate to see how a new product was being introduced into the market in a more detailed way. There were actually promoters being sent by the drug company to persuade Mr. Ong to take the new product – Probiotics into consideration so the new product can be displayed like others on the shelf. Personally, I didn’t think Mr. Ong liked their special visit very much. From his expression at that time, he didn’t seem to be convinced though the explanations made were making the product fascinating.

An auntie-like promoter in early thirties had appeared abruptly. She’s acting like this drugstore is a chain store of hers. At first sight, I thought she’s Mr. Ong’s wife as her actions were showing that Mr. Ong’s her helpmate. Luckily, before I had time to regard her Mrs. Ong, another lovely employee of his told me that she’s actually another promoter of Vita-Health who’s coming frequently to this drugstore to the extent that she could identify every medicine in the store as well as on which rack a particular drug is placed.

Though she’s pretty bossy and always spoke in a peremptory tone, she did teach me something about how to dispense a prescription with correct dosage and also a way to know how many tablets or capsules should be taken by customers each day.

I was, and am still totally ignorant about dispensing medicines and therefore I only helped to settle some odds and ends for Mr. Ong; things like dusting the remainder drugs on the racks and tidying the boxes away.

Although I didn’t really work within this six-hour time, I was indeed worn out with satisfaction that I did actually learn a great deal. Observing and listening are really vital for acquiring knowledge and I should get myself into these arts.

Full Moon 보름달

Full moon
Explicitly illuminating
All his accountabilities,
And his old stories;

Full moon
Jogging his memory
As if it’s a raconteur;

A boy used to be diminutive,
Encountering difficulties,
Developing his skull-penetrating skills,
Wishing for encouragements,
Not counting his passionate advocates.

Never forgetting his recurrent contemplation,
Of ways and schemes;
To give the poor inexperienced thing –
Himself a chance to learn
Exactly how he could glide through his.

Full moon,
Telling off the little boy
With plenty of moxie,
About in what manner he should and shouldn’t,
As though it’s the one bringing forth to him;

A boy used to make no efforts to obey,
A boy used to love glumness,
A boy used to moaning and groaning,
For being unfairly treated;

A boy used to be forgetful,
A boy used to petty jealousy and squabbles,
A boy used to have rubber-like temperament,
So any stress-exerting endeavor would just fall flat;

Full moon
Signifying the significance of unity
Proving that a sorrowful look wasn’t a good one,
And life ain’t full of somber occasions,
A crescent and a new one wouldn’t stay any longer.

Full moon
Putting forward a number of suggestions,
As well as appeasing the angry boy by showing its fineries.
Doping the disposition with steel,
Not because to make his a callous one;
Just to make him tough and strong.

Full moon
Reminiscing his days,
Ringing a bell loudly about,
His enormous clangers,
Teaching like a reverend;
About God’s words

I was having peaceful mind on that morning, being rejoiced at the sight of the lovely full moon.
As the saying goes, early bird catches the worm, I was somehow proving it was true when early man like me would have the occasion for this fantastic scenery of dawn.
And, I wrote this poem though it ain't any poem worthy of reading. :)

Cases Study

Case 1
"Mr. Tan, you really have a big problem with your pronunciation. Why do you always spell the letter 'l' as 'r', and 'r' as 'l', huh? I will give you one-week time to have a try-out on the word 'Lantaran'. If you fail to say it right, I am sorry as I have to say: Mr Tan, you are such a failure!" Your pronunciation of 'blogger' make me think of only one sentence that suits you much more than others, viz. 'Are you learning English?' And I am afraid to say that you perhaps won't have any chance to get any higher bands than 5.5 for your coming IELTS in March.

Case 2
"You are still b-r-o-g-g-i-ng?, On the day of exam?"

Case 3
I saw a monkey lingering around the nearby Giant this morning. Perhaps it wished to help its kind to replenish their stocks.

Her Acute Anxiety, Depression and Insomnia 그녀같은걱정, 우울과 불면

She was left alone six months ago in her own residence as if she had to put in quarantine for carrying some sort of diseases. The bout of depression she was having all this while and her choice to abandon herself to grief had caused her life more sufferings and pains.
On the day before she felt like her life of misery was going to be taken away like extinguishing a fire, he returned home. She was rescued and she rejoiced at the newest change in her life – as he had taken an oath of ‘not-going-to-leave-you-again’ to her as if she was the queen of his.

She held covetous stares on him, as though she’s saying ‘Don’t leave me’. Unforeseen by her, he agreed.

She soon knew that the relationship would become less easy once he was going to be lumbered with his endless responsibilities. She had an awful feeling and was afraid of any dreadful news that might be received like a letter delivered by a mailman who would never have done any mistakes. She was contemplating having a talk with him. She should, indeed, she knew that.
She was too ordinary to resist the lure of happiness. And he was her happiness…

P/S: My examination is on today, I have to leave her for a while.

Haunted 惊心动魄

I had finished reading one of the chiller series by James Herbert: Haunted yesterday and I’d found that it was really one of the most bloodcurdling ghost-stories I had ever read. Anyway, I liked the citation used by the author to begin his frightening story, viz.

In memory of George Gooding – rascal…

Okay, until here I think I have done a ghastly mistake which made me feel very awkward, the citation is absolutely not from this page, it’s in another page. =,=”. Perhaps I was inattentive while scribbling this post. In fact, it should be:

To be haunted is to glimpse a truth that might best be hidden

The quotation seems unintelligible to most of the people, however, it has actually made an emphatic and a very brief summary about the whole story that the author would wish to bring out to his enthusiastic readers.

It was a story beginning with a protagonist given a name David Ash.
The prelude of the story related to me in regards to David, who was still a boy of not more than eight years old saw his dead sister, lying in her coffin grinned up at him and tried to reach him with her lifeless hands. And the dreadful feeling I was having at that moment was suddenly interrupted as though someone had used a zapper to change my favorite channel away.

The story was then articulated with another part which narrated to its readers about David, who was presently in his thirties, had a paramount property that he strongly disapprove of folks’ belief in paranormal things and their existence. Look at some of his words when he was in case and you would know what his thoughts were about, pertaining to supernatural things.

“There would be a psychic link only existing between your four and whatever’s taking place.”
“Your minds are like some kind of radio receiver, you as the occupants of this house, may be tuned in to somebody else’ transmission.”
“I am looking for some kind of phenomenon and I gather it takes the shape of a ghost.”

He was soon given an opportunity to go through a case (probably another route leading to a new life for him, this was what my viewpoint, anyway); in other words, he was hired by an old lady, Mrs. Webb, who was about sixty-something, to help her with her 'haunting' problem in her dwelling, Edbrook.

In the story, James Herbert put in four more characters inside to make the story more absorbing, viz. Christina, Robert, Simon and also their dog, Seeker, of which David was afraid.

The story was like a mealy-mouthed narrator as it never wanted to reveal any of the real and hidden parts of it, which James had actually attempted to bring out as what he had did at the beginning with the aforesaid quotation.

In the middle of the story, James was forced or rather deceived to encounter some shuddering and obviously abnormal incidences, which, as a matter of fact wanted to tell David that what he had been contemplating to disagree with the existence of ghosts were not correct.
James tried to make the story an interesting one by giving the protagonist an affliction of stubborn steak, but anyway those incidences had some sort of influence over David’s thoughts and in the meantime, putting him in a flutter. And David had to pretend he was unperturbed by the very horrible experiences he had when he was in Edbrook.

At the end, the story ended in an unexpected way. The author inhumanely gave a fact to David that what he had seen during his three nights in an investigation to a haunting was not real. He was the only victim of horrifying and maleficent game. Robert, Simon and Christina were not real figures though their seemingly unceasing appearance in the storyline – the only with David in Edbrook was only the children’s aunt or rather nanny – Mrs. Webb.

“You saw and talked with no living thing. We were alone in the house, Mr. Ash, just you and I. But not really alone, Robert, Simon and Christina were with us, but not as living people. Seeker too – its poor innocent soul is so confused.”

“He could not help but read the names as they were slowly unveiled:

Beloved children

Robert (1919-1949)
Simon (1923-1949)
Christina (1929-1949)

The most blood-chilling part was when he saw his sister, Juliet…

It was a nice story and in terms of its horrifying index, I would give 80 %.
I admitted it had really scared me off a little after I had finished. =D

My MSSP 돈을 아끼고…

MSSP stands for My Scrimping and Saving Program. Cool, isn’t it?
I am actually given roughly RM 500 per month, comprising my own allowance by my sponsor and also some pocket money from my grandma and my mum.
A compelling reason has latterly made me start my MSSP. I am not sure whether or not my bloggie passengers have noticed one of my sections: 'Am I reading?' (Just changed the name, formerly Bookworms), the fiction books being read are getting more and more lately.
I don’t know why but admittedly, I have just fallen in love with books.

I am not completely a realist though, but I know that if I really wish to read a lot, I need to buy myself those pricey yet entertaining fictions. It would not be pleasant to my avid-reader friends to lend their books to me all the way.

MSSP, besides permitting me to cut on my daily expenditure on food and daily stuffs, which could not be so useful yet I still want to keep them in my collection, but also gladdening my heart as I will have acquired new books without having to fill myself with dismay (for I am a not-so-austere cheapskate =_=”).

By the way, I have an antipathy towards poetic and historical books. +_+

Cheers!

Fight-less Bird, American Mouth, by Iron & Wine 놀라운 성취! ¡Está Maravilloso!

I was a quick wet boy
Diving too deep for coins
All of your street light eyes
Wide on my plastic toys
And when the cops closed the fair I cut
my long baby hair
Stole me a dog-eared map
And called for you everywhere

Have I found you?
Flightless bird, jealous, weeping
Or lost you?
American mouth
Big pill looming

Now I’m a fat house cat
Nursing my sore blunt tongue
Watching the warm poison rats
Curl through the wide fence cracks
Pissing on magazine photos
Those fishing lures thrown in the cold and clean
Blood of Christ mountain stream

Have I found you?
Flightless bird, grounded bleeding
Or lost you?
American mouth
Big pill, stuck going down

I first heard this song through the film – Twilight and the beat was seemingly a perfect match for the ending scene. I liked it very much, thereby trying to seek for it. Repeatedly, I listened to it and tried to understand the meaning of the song in the meantime to further examine whether this song really suited the romantic coda of the film.

Perhaps, I was not a native English speaker, I heard that the band was mumbling words or terms like ‘quick wet boy’, ‘fat house cat’ but couldn’t really make a correlation between this song and the scene. To me, the song seemed to have no connection with the scene and the lyrics obviously did not make any sense the first time I read.

I was not sure about whether there were any websites for interpreting or translating the lyrics of a song into a simple and comprehensible version, so I went on to seek my fortune.
My search results truly astounded me as I saw many film-lovers were trying to know about the meaning of the songs as well and the evidence was given by considerable number of posts, all were in connection with their hunger or thirst for the song’s meaning.

I scrolled down the page to read the remaining posts. In my mind, there could be somebody had already known the meaning and had been keen to share with us.
Among the posts, I saw some sort of posts like this:

I hate how people always connect this song to the movie twilight, when they
should be connecting twilight to the song. The movie doesn’t make the song
better, but the other way around. I have never seen the movie and haven’t read
any of the books; this song is amazing on its own. When I first saw the trailer
for twilight i was like "oh c’mon another vampire movie, I just know its gonna
bomb at the box office," the only reason it did good was because of the
teenagers who were fans of the books. The plot doesn’t really appeal to me so
I’m not interested in watching the movie or reading any of the books. This song
and band is amazing and I will continue to listen to them. - Anonymous

I had some kind of agreement with the statement this ‘anonym’ had made on 23rd of December; particularly, we shouldn’t relate the song really to the film actually. Thee song is really amazing of its own. Its ‘misty’ meaning really made the song a worthier one of listening.
Trust me, take what you feel when listening to the song and put it into the lyrics, you would smile and it makes you have a nice feeling.

From answer.yahoo.com,

As people would always say about the time when one is still a child: a child is
everything that is new and great. Changes will happen when his or her life and
reality have found him or her.
A boy who had been enjoying life once he was
small had found out that things happened like betrayal, anger and jealousy when
getting elder and elder. All these have made him contemplate finding the former
happiness again like what he had when he was little.

A marvelous song, isn’t it? = ^..^ =